Chapter 42

The car drove through the night, turning slowly into Yushui Nanyuan.

“Are we going home?” Jiang Ci was confused.

Wen Nian said, “Yes, we’re going home.”

“Is Auntie Ning okay?” Jiang Ci got out of the car, worried about Ning Shuyue. Wen Nian had brought her here so late, and she couldn’t help but be concerned.

Wen Nian opened the downstairs access control: “I came back to see her at noon, she ate more than the previous days and had the strength to nag at me.”

Jiang Ci felt relieved: “How could she nag at you? She loves you the most.”

The two entered the elevator one after the other, and Wen Nian pressed the fifth floor.

“So, what’s the matter? Why did you have to come over so urgently?” Jiang Ci was still clueless.

“You’ll know in a moment,” Wen Nian replied.

Wen Nian deliberately brought her here from the party and kept teasing her, and Jiang Ci really didn’t understand what was going on. But she didn’t ask any more questions.

The elevator arrived at the fifth floor. Jiang Ci went left to Ning Shuyue’s home, but Wen Nian stood on the right and called her: “Ah-Ci, over here.”

Jiang Ci turned around and saw Wen Nian slowly pushing open the door of the house where she had lived for more than ten years and then sold to Professor Lin.

“You sold it, didn’t you? To Professor Lin,” Jiang Ci said.

“After I made some money, I bought it back from him,” Wen Nian said.

Jiang Ci looked at Wen Nian walking towards her and then held her hand, leading her into the house.

“Professor Lin renovated it, and I’ve tried my best to restore it, but many of your graffiti on the walls and furniture couldn’t be restored,” Wen Nian opened Jiang Ci’s palm and put the door key in it solemnly, “I bought it back a long time ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you…I know I’m not qualified and I don’t have the confidence.”

Wen Nian had been holding onto the key, her body heat warming it up. Jiang Ci’s heart felt like it had been violently squeezed as she realized what was happening, but she couldn’t believe it.

Wen Nian said with tears in her eyes, “Ah-Ci, we’re the same kind of people. The label of ‘illegitimate child’ has haunted your life and caused me pain since birth. We were always told not to be willful, not to make our father unhappy. We had to learn so many things to please him, to be excellent in every aspect, regardless of whether we could understand it or bear the pressure. We were trapped in a secret prison, but we can’t blame anyone for it. We must be grateful to our father for giving us life, and even more grateful to our mother for raising us with her hard work.”

Wen Nian choked up as she spoke, and Jiang Ci’s eyes began to moisten too. Everything Wen Nian said resonated with her own experiences from childhood; the two of them had too many similarities.

“When I was eight years old, you may not remember, my mother had a miscarriage and was hospitalized in critical condition. She almost died.” Wen Nian suppressed her tears, “She was pushed down the stairs on purpose by someone, and I remembered that face for five years straight, even in my dreams. I wanted to find him, to question why he did this to my mother, why he did this to my unborn brother, how much hatred did he have for us!? Later, as I grew up, I realized that there is no such thing as senseless hatred in this world. It’s just that money can make people do terrible things.”

How could Jiang Ci forget? That year, little Wen Nian held onto her tightly, crying non-stop even in her sleep.

“Ah-Ci, you’re lucky. Your father isn’t that heartless. When Auntie Jiang married into the Tong family and Haohao was born, I was genuinely happy for you guys… But my brother, he didn’t do anything wrong, did he? Are illegitimate children supposed to live like rats in the gutter, hiding from people? Why? We’re no worse than anyone else! – What was supposed to be mine, what was supposed to belong to my brother, I will get it back at all costs.”

“I will do anything to get it back. Ah-Ci, I can feel your affection for me, and my attraction to you is real too. Every time I responded, it was genuine, but I’m also truly forcing myself to stay away from you step by step.”

“No one understands you better than I do, no one knows what you want better than I do. I can give you faithful love, but until I firmly stand on my own feet, I can’t give you an open and honest identity.”

“I can’t selfishly make you wait for me, let alone let you suffer the same fate as Auntie Jiang. You have always been so proud, I can’t let you fall into the mud.”

Wen Nian looked up, warm tears rolling down her cheeks: “I never dared to think about the day… the day when I could say these words to you. Right now, is there still a chance for you to belong to me?”

Jiang Ci turned her back.

The person Jiang Ci had loved for her entire youth finally gave her a response after so many years.

Bitterness and heartache occupied her entire mind, and her thoughts were completely chaotic. The years of unrequited love and the pain of being unable to obtain it flooded over her like a tide.

Jiang Ci said hoarsely, “You’re telling me all of this now… why now?”

“Ah-Ci,” Wen Nian held Jiang Ci’s hand and pulled her back, her voice trembling. “Am I being too greedy?… Do I still have a place in your heart?”

In the silent house, with the familiar furnishings and the person she had loved for so many years in front of her.

“I can’t give you an answer right now.” Jiang Ci said, tears in her eyes. “Give me some time.”

As the night grew deeper, Jiang Ci was about to leave and Wen Nian was preparing to send her off, but Jiang Ci refused.

She walked out of the Yushui Nanyuan, wiping away tears as she went. After walking for a long time, she finally realized she needed to hail a taxi.

The taxi driver saw her crying the whole way and didn’t dare say a word. He quietly handed her a pack of tissues from behind the partition.

Jiang Ci waited outside until the tear streaks on her face had dried before entering her home.

Lu Xingxue was in the living room, and when Jiang Ci appeared, she greeted her, “I bought apples. Do you want to eat them now?”

Jiang Ci’s eyes were red and swollen from crying, and she avoided Lu Xingxue’s gaze, saying, “No, thank you. I don’t want to eat now. I just want to rest.”

Lu Xingxue looked at her with concern and asked, “Jiang Ci, are you okay?”

Jiang Ci shook her head and replied, “I’ll go to my room first.”

Lu Xingxue watched as Jiang Ci disappeared around the corner of the stairs.

Jiang Ci collapsed onto the bed and drifted off into a fitful sleep as the day began to break. She dreamt of her middle school days, walking to and from school with Wen Nian, sharing lunch on the playground, the warmth of the summer sun on their skin, and Wen Nian’s disapproving frown upon receiving a love letter… It felt so real, like it was happening all over again.

Jiang Ci woke up with tears soaking her pillowcase. Her eyes were still swollen, so she grabbed a damp towel and placed it over her eyes to soothe the inflammation.

She still had to go to work in the afternoon.

After getting ready for a long time, her eyes were finally presentable, and Jiang Ci changed her clothes and went downstairs. She wasn’t planning on having lunch at home, but she smelled the aroma of food in the air as she descended the stairs.

The first floor was clean and bright, and it was a sunny winter day.

Lu Xingxue was sitting alone at the dining table, and when Jiang Ci appeared, she stood up: “Jiang Ci.”

Jiang Ci tried to muster her emotions, curling her lips into a smile and said, “So many dishes, did Auntie Zhuang leave?”

“She did. Are you going to work? Finish eating before you go,” said Lu Xingxue.

“Okay.” Jiang Ci put down her toolbox, walked over and pulled out a chair, and asked as she sat down, “Why are you at home at this time? Is the company not busy?”

“Today is the weekend,” said Lu Xingxue.

“I don’t really keep track of time,” Jiang Ci said.

“It’s okay, let’s eat first.”

There was no sound at the dining table. Jiang Ci looked at Lu Xingxue, who ate quietly, but didn’t take much food, and the rice in her bowl was hardly reduced.

She looked burdened, even though they were laughing and having fun together last night… Jiang Ci’s heart ached.

Soon, Lu Xingxue put down her chopsticks and wiped her mouth gently.

“You’re eating too little… Auntie Zhuang made delicious beef today, you should try some,” Jiang Ci used a clean public chopstick to pick up a piece of beef and put it in Lu Xingxue’s bowl.

Lu Xingxue looked at her and picked up her chopsticks again.

“Have some more,” Jiang Ci picked up another piece for her.

“I’m full. The beef was made for you, you should eat more,” Lu Xingxue spoke softly, slowly putting the beef in her mouth.

After finishing her meal, Lu Xingxue went straight upstairs without waiting for Jiang Ci. After Lu Xingxue left, Jiang Ci quickly finished her meal, cleaned up the dishes, and put them in the dishwasher.

After wiping the table, Jiang Ci picked up her toolbox, walked to the door, and then turned back.

“Lu Xingxue,” Lu Xingxue’s room door was open, Jiang Ci knocked on the door, “I’m going to work now.”

There was no answer. Jiang Ci stood by the door and heard the sound of vomiting coming from inside. She was startled and quickly crossed the room, pushing open the door of Lu Xingxue’s ensuite bathroom.

Lu Xingxue was holding onto the sink, hearing the noise, she turned to look.

Jiang Ci exclaimed, “Lu Xingxue! What’s wrong!?”

Lu Xingxue’s eyes were bloodshot, and her fair skin was covered in red rashes.

“…I’m fine,” her voice became hoarse. Lu Xingxue then vomited again, turned on the tap to wash her face and rinse her mouth. She then picked up the medicine box next to her, opened it, and took a pill.

Jiang Ci stepped forward to read the name of the medicine: “Allergy medicine? What are you allergic to?”

Lu Xingxue avoided the question, “I’m fine now. I threw up and took the medicine. Aren’t you still going to work? Hurry up.”

Jiang Ci had never seen Lu Xingxue like this before and was a little frightened. She tightly held Lu Xingxue’s hand, “I’ll go to the hospital with you!”

“No need.” Lu Xingxue reassured her, “I’m really fine. I know my own body.”

“What did you eat?” Jiang Ci continued to ask, “Beef? Was it beef?”

It was only at this moment that she realized, after knowing each other for so many years and eating together so many times, Lu Xingxue had never touched any dishes with beef! The last time they ate at Ning Shuyue’s house, Ning Shuyue served her beef, but she left it all uneaten.

Jiang Ci’s chest heaved, “You’re allergic to beef, so why did you still eat it?”

Lu Xingxue couldn’t keep it a secret any longer, “I thought you were unhappy and didn’t want to disappoint you again…I thought eating a small amount would be okay.”

Jiang Ci couldn’t help raising her voice, “Lu Xingxue, can you stop joking around with your own body!”

“Jiang Ci…I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I thought things were too simple and didn’t consider your feelings.”

It was Lu Xingxue who suffered from allergies and yet it was her who apologized and made amends. Their relationship was so delicate that her own indecisiveness had affected Lu Xingxue and made her so sensitive.

Jiang Ci’s vision blurred. Her emotions had been tightly wound up since last night and were now in complete disarray: “What am I supposed to do? How could you do this to me? I’ll feel guilty! I don’t care about you, I don’t even know what you’re allergic to! What do you want me to do?!”

Lu Xingxue tried to comfort Jiang Ci by embracing her, gently patting her back: “It’s my fault, I should have told you earlier.”

Jiang Ci knew she was overreacting, but her tears just wouldn’t stop: “I blame myself so much, I’m so useless.”

Lu Xingxue looked outside, the window in the room was open and the sunlight was just right. She whispered in Jiang Ci’s ear, “Don’t cry.”

Prev / ToC / Next

---

I finished translating I Picked Up An Ancient Transmigration Killer To Be A Wife. Admittedly, that story isn’t as good as this one, but if you have some time to spare, you should consider reading it.

---

Additionally, I will be creating a Discord Server for all you beautiful people to join. Come chat, play around, and most importantly – help me decide which novel to translate next. In the future I will make polls to decide which novels to translate.
That being said, the server is currently completely empty, and I don’t have any experience in setting up/running a discord server. So if you’re interested in helping out, please join and send me a message (シ_ _ )シ

I’m also looking for an editor and proofreader. The editor will recieve a percentage of regular donations from Ko-Fi, which currently amounts to o (but will hopefully change in the future).
So, if you’re interested, it should be because you’re passionate, and want to help give people the opportunity to read these great novels, rather than for the money.
The proofreader will just gain the great opportunity of reading ahead (which is a great reward in itself!)

I hope you all have a wonderful day <3

---